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Well, it's over. After several weeks of internal debate and much… - Lady Korana [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Lady Korana

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[Sep. 19th, 2004|10:07 pm]
Lady Korana
[mood |draineddrained]
[music |Escaflowne - Dance of Curse]

Well, it's over. After several weeks of internal debate and much talking with my mom and best friends, I broke up with the boyfriend today (if he was ever truly my boyfriend). In my heart, I never really considered us as boyfriend and girlfriend; he was just a guy that I was having fun getting to know and feeling things out for any chance of a potential relationship. In the end, although he was a perfect gentleman towards me, there was just no chemistry between us, IMHO. We didn't have all that much in common other than that we both were in marching band at school, and that we both liked computers. Also, he has certain ingrained attitudes and beliefs that I thought might become issues if we stayed together longer and got more serious: he's hardcore pro-Bush, has made multiple negative comments about gays and minorities in my presence (which I asked him to stop--it's the only thing I've ever put my foot down about--but they continued to slip out now and then), and in general was just very cynical and negative about a lot of things.
I had a good time the first several dates, but now I wonder if that had more to do with the fun things we were doing than the company I was in. Finally, when we went to a local festival and went shopping together, and it seemed like it wasn't very enjoyable for either of us to just hang out somewhere together, I knew I had to call it off. It was becoming almost a chore to me, to have to give up a normally relaxing weekend and go out with him. I did it because he was so nice, but I secretly resented him taking up my precious downtime I need to recover from work and unwind.

It was hard telling him tonight and I had butterflies in my stomach as I was driving over to his place. I really didn't have much appetite for the dinner he cooked either. I felt guilty eating his food when I knew what I was about to say to him, but now that it's done, I'm almost relieved. Oh well, at least it's good personal experience that I can learn from in the future...
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Comments:
From: (Anonymous)
2004-09-20 03:00 am (UTC)
Jenny, I'm very proud of you to have done this the correct way!! You always have to give things a chance to see what can develop, and when it doesn't click, then it just doesn't click and nothing is going to change that. You made the right decision. At least you have a little more experience with the 'dating stuff' now...you can draw from this for your next guy.

You whore of a little brother....Jeff
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From: (Anonymous)
2004-09-20 03:01 am (UTC)
And I meant "Your whore of a little brother"....definitely wasn't calling you a ho!! Hope you didn't misunderstand that.
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[User Picture]From: ladykorana
2004-09-20 11:54 am (UTC)
I knew what you meant :-)

Thanks for your support, Jeff. It means a lot to me. *HUGS*
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From: nerv_agent_001
2004-09-20 02:26 pm (UTC)
awww, i'm sure that this was rough and you know that i totally support you. but if you look at it as having experience to live and work off of, then it helps. also, WHEN THE HELL DID I FALL OUT OF THE LOOP?! sorry, it was just a big shock to see this and have no idea that it was happening in the first place, much less that it was over.

hugs!
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[User Picture]From: eowyngreenleaf
2005-06-10 06:11 pm (UTC)
awwwwww :( im so sorry to hear about that! (i just happened to glance through your LJ again--havent been here in a while) i broke up with my boyfriend about a year ago, and I had the similar problem. while i did have a good time with him when we were out doing things, when we were alone together it just--there was no chemistry between us. i just didnt feel right about being with him--so i eventually did what you did, and called it off. we'd gone out to dinner that night, and i ended up waiting until we were back at my place, so he wouldn't just up and leave me if he got angry. it's hard breaking up with someone, and it did take a lot of encouragement from my parents/friends to do it. but i definitely feel much better now that im not with him anymore--i havent spoken to him since. O_o
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[User Picture]From: ladykorana
2005-06-10 06:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your comments and your empathy! *hugs* I did the right thing. It's been 9 months since I broke up with him and I don't miss him at all. I'm really glad I never told him about my LJ either! :)
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[User Picture]From: eowyngreenleaf
2005-06-10 08:05 pm (UTC)
yw! :) i can totally relate. i never told my ex b/f about LJ either *G*. it's kind of sad, because I told him i would have preferred to stay friends rather than have a strong relationship, because of the fact that there was no chemistry--but i havent seen him in a little over a year now, so i do feel kind of bad. but then again, i think it would just be really weird if we happened to get together...especially with our past history as being b/f and g/f. i dunno. :-/ do you think i should call him one day, or do you think im doing the right thing by trusting my instinct?
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